Healthy Tips For The Healthy-ish Girl

Before I give you my completely unprofessional and probably somewhat unsolicited (although many of you have asked here and there for a while now) about “healthy habits,” let’s get one thing very straight — I am, by all means, healthyISH. I “indulge” all the time. I drink more than I probably should. And I’m very much in the mindset of “rewarding” myself with a treat for a job* well done.

*”Job” can be any number of things including but not limited to a great workout, hitting a deadline, putting all my laundry away, being extra pretty that day, or hitting snooze less than 5 times (“Wow, I only snoozed 4 times. I DO deserve that bagel for breakfast!”).

However, I (and everyone, really) can’t deny how vastly different I feel internally when I’m making a valiant effort to be healthyish. Does making healthy choices suck at first? Yes. Is it hard? Awful. The worst. Is it realistic/sustainable? I’m sure it is, but I almost always falter majorly at some point and have to begin again. But do the rewards you reap outweigh the initial shittiness? Hundo p.

My current status is I’m the heaviest I’ve ever been and, while I’m not necessarily mad at it, I also don’t love it. I was a BBG freak for forever, then I moved onto Orange Theory, then went back to BBG and realized I’m completely burnt out on it for the time being. Although it’s wielded me incredible results in the past, my motivation to keep up with it disappeared this last go-round and was nowhere to be found. 

On the food side of things, while I do my very best to make healthyish choices throughout the week, I recently got really honest with myself about how often I was straying. Does it help that I work in an office that has a studio apartment sized snack room with everything from Doritos and Starbursts to Cheez Its and Nerd Ropes (I mean, yeah they have almonds and apples too but COME ON)? No. No it doesn’t. I’ve become a total grazer over the past year of working here, and that not-so-great habit trickled into my extracurriculars in the form of not caring as much and not really paying attention to what I was shoving in my pie hole.

So, here we are together on a blog post about healthy tips for healthyish people before the new year because mama is making adjustments and getting back on track, and I want to share it with y’all.

Healthyish Tip #1

Decide on an exercise routine and DO IT.

They say you have to truly enjoy/look forward to the kind of exercise you do to actually keep up with it and, while I agree with that to an extent, can we all just agree that no one truly ENJOYS working out? Yes okay, maybe trainers. And true athletes. But other than that, I think you’d be hard stretched to find someone who has literally no ill-will toward the entire idea of exercise or needing to do it for the sake of their health. We’re all just lazy pieces of shit who want to be naturally jacked, so what it really boils down to dedication and motivation. 

That said, you can not hate some workouts as much as others and those are the ones you should stick to. Like I mentioned, I did BBG forever, then tried Orange Theory to switch it up. I loved both for various reasons. I’ve also tried pilates and loved that for a minute. But yoga, spin, and Crossfit are NOT for me (I haven’t even ever tried Crossfit, I just know I hate it because it’s Crossfit), so I stay far away from them. In my latest slump, my best friend told me to peep Megan Morat’s free workout Instagram videos, claiming “After I had my baby, I literally was like ‘Welp. I’ll never see my abs ever again,’ then I tried these workouts and *insert awkward mirror selfie of my friend showing me her abs*” This particular friend has been working out and active since age 11/12, so I decided to take her up on the suggestion. 

Now, I haven’t done true weight lifting since college (with aforementioned athletic best friend). I’m talking a weekly schedule that’s like “Back and Bis, Leg Day, Shoulders and Triceps” etc. That’s what Meg does and what she promotes, and I instantly loved her free workout videos enough that I started getting very interested in her personal training. Meg is based in Florida, but does virtual training that’s tailored to you and incredibly affordable month-to-month. So, I signed on with her and so far, I’m loving it. It’s a welcome change, and the accountability of a trainer (albeit virtually) is already a mind fuck in the best way for me. Meg provided me my macros and calorie goal, a specific amount of cardio per week, and 4-5 weight lifting routines to accomplish throughout the week. I’m so excited about this brand new, shiny workout routine and can’t wait to see what results it yields!

My point is to find whatever workout you hate the least and make it a priority. Here are quick and dirty tips on how to seamlessly incorporate exercise into your life:

  • Figure out what time of day is your best chance to get it done, uninterrupted and with no chance of bailing or having to miss a day. If it’s morning, set your alarm and get TF up. If it’s lunch, block it off on your work calendar every day. If it’s after work, don’t let any last-minute dinner or HH invite stand in the way.

  • Invest in a clutch gym bag, legit travel-sized bottles you can fill up with your necessary toiletries (I’m legitimately obsessed with those), and maybe even backups or doubles of certain things (deodorant, perfume, a razor, etc). I have/do all this and I can’t tell you the difference it makes. The less time you have to spend preparing for the gym, the better. If your bag is always packed and ready to go, then your chances of making it to the gym increase drastically.

  • Also invest in workout clothes that make you excited to go out in public to the gym. Shallow? Maybe. Effective? Very. They don’t have to be anything special, i.e. lululemon and whatnot (although, I do pretty much only wear their headbands because they’re the best). I swear by Old Navy leggings and bras, Girlfriend leggings (in the 23 3/4” seam), and whatever old t-shirt I feel like throwing on that day. I’ll splurge on a fun pair of leggings once in a while like these AMAZING LEOPARD ONES, but I keep it pretty basic.

  • Constantly remind yourself of these two indisputable truths:

    • You never regret a workout. You regret NOT going. Have you ever worked out then immediately thought to yourself “Man, I really wish I hadn’t done that”? No.

    • Progress takes patience and consistency. The more you quit and have to start over from the top, the longer that progress will take so just, like, start doing it and don’t stop.

HEALTHYISH TIP #2

Meal plan, but not necessarily prep.

I say this because the thought of standing in the kitchen on a Sunday afternoon, prepping meals for the entire week sounds fucking awful and like something I would never do. Side note: One dick hole I dated for 3 seconds once invited me to a Sunday meal prepping hangout him and his fit friends did… I can’t.

I don’t necessarily prep, but I sure as hell plan. Basically, come Sunday, I decide what my breakfast, lunches, and dinners are going to look like for the week. Then, I venture out (or order Whole Foods delivery because it’s a godsend) to get the groceries I need to make it happen. And, any delicious recipe I discover, I always share on here so please use and abuse my arsenal of ‘cipes.

Here’s my biggest thing, though: I don’t plan for Monday through Friday. I plan more for like Monday through Wednesday to leave wiggle room for the social aspect of my week and to ensure I get a variety of meals. If I know I have plans Wednesday and Thursday night, I plan around those so I don’t waste food. If I have no plans all week, the monotony of eating the same exact thing for every meal of the week is just too horrible to bear, so I’ll plan Wednesday night to make something different for Lunch/Dinner/Lunch Thursday through Friday. So essentially, I have a meal plan for the first half of the week, and something for the last half. Are you following?

Once you’re locked and loaded in terms of meals for the week, the next thing to tackle is SNACKS. I don’t know about y’all, but my biggest downfall in the healthyish world are snacks. I’m like a fucking baby — I need to eat something every few hours and, if I’m not prepared with healthyish snacks on hand, I typically make in-the-moment, shitty decisions. Therefore, I’ve become anal about having pre-planned snacks so I don’t veer off course and negate all the effort I’m attempting to put in. Some of my favorite snacks that I feel are easy to transport to work are:

  • Cut up celery and carrots with hummus (MAJOR KEY: divide them up into baggies or Tupperware at the beginning of the week so they’re easy to grab and go)

  • Plain Chobani greek yogurt with your choice of fruit + some honey (protein for dayz)

  • Salt and vinegar Blue Diamond almonds (they’re like crack cocaine)

  • Pineapple and/or watermelon chunks sprinkled with Tajin (more crack cocaine and one of my all-time favorite snacks)

  • Banana or apple with crunchy peanut butter (I’ve recently left the smooth train, and I’ll never go back)

  • String cheese or cheese sticks

  • Your favorite kind of jerky and/or deli meat (i.e. turkey)

  • Buffalo cauliflower bites

  • Sargento Balanced Breaks

  • Self-popped popcorn with Tajin

But being prepared is nothing without 2,000 pieces of Tupperware at your dispense constantly. I myself am terrible at keeping track of my Tupperware, so I have to order a new set every year. I just got these off Amazon and love the variety of sizes so much. I’ve also made a silent pact with myself to not lose all of them by this time next year. We’ll see how it goes. The bottom line on food is have a game plan so you don’t panic and eat shit for breakfast, lunch, or dinner.

Some other tips in terms of food and drink:

  • Water. In. A. Wine. Glass. Y’all. Maybe it’s just me, but this sneaky ass trick actually convinces my brain I’m having something naughtier than filtered water and makes it taste EXQUISITE. I’m doing this a lot lately so I don’t drink during the week at home when I’m bored.

  • Eat slower. I have a terrible habit of this. I legitimately SHOVEL food into my mouth and barely chew it.

  • Practice not eating until you hate yourself. It’s hard as hell to do and feels completely unnatural, but it’s possible and also depressingly effective in that you actually enjoy your meal and don’t feel like trash afterwards.

  • HAVE SNACKS ON HAND. Literally, this is such a fucking deal breaker to me in terms of staying the course. Yes, you might feel insane prepping snacks but you’ll be so happy with yourself when the snack itch hits you that you have a plan and don’t have to resort to whatever weird, days-old leftovers a co-worker put in the break room for everyone to desperately eat.


HEALTHYISH TIP #3

Make it permanent, not temporary.

Okay yeah, seems obvious. But we get so caught up in diet culture that we lose sight of the bigger picture. Yes—if you have a timely event on the horizon that you feel okay about going on a crash diet for, fine. I get it. I did that with Keto for my friend’s wedding so I’m not innocent of that. But that shit isn’t sustainable, as we all know. There’s got to be a happy medium between indulging and making smart choices, and that’s what I’m striving for with this new leaf I’m turning. I’ve done it before and I know I can do it again. Am I insane to have started during the holiday season? Probably. But if it’s a permanent lifestyle change, then I’m not insane at all. Plus, what’s done is done, and I’m on a journey now with Meg that I can’t back out of. Of course, I’m still gonna have moments of shoving 100 cakes and wines into my face but the trick is to just start again tomorrow as you normally would. Not say “Well! That’s that! Guess I don’t care anymore!” Every day is a new chance to reset, y’all. Let’s get this fucking bread! (But, like, not too much bread).

xox,

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