SEX.

We all do it sometimes. Some of us do it a lot more than others. Maybe some of us still haven’t. Regardless, it’s the topic everyone loves to talk about but hates being the first to bring it up. That’s where I come in.

Pun intended?

As I’ve mentioned several times now on my IG, I have a very strong interest in producing content with you guys that speaks to the real side of Long Term Relationships (LTR). Although I was with my college boyfriend off and on for three years, that doesn’t really feel like it counted, per se. Between him and Zac, I’ve had a few boyfriends who lasted almost a year but not quite, so the fact that Z and I are approaching a year and a half feels like this is probably my first LTR (in the romantic sense, of course. I’ve been with Cece for 9 years almost).

There are so many terms and talk thrown around with couples and love. Like “soulmate,” “doing life,” “best friend,” “obsessed,” etc. and while those are all valid and should most definitely be felt at some point during an LTR, I’m much more interested in the everyday of relationships. Like I said, I’ve never been with someone as long as I have with Zac, so there have been a lot of firsts for me (like, living together???) and the evolution of our relationship intrigues me. I find it so fascinating that, as humans, one of our main goals is to find that ONE other person and grow with them continuously for years and years. It takes effort and choice and there are plenty of bumps and lumps along the way. Nothing is perfect, and it’s the imperfections that interest me the most and always have.

I don’t know what my big idea or plan is for gathering info from my followers’ who are in LTRs; I just know I want to and I want it to be super informative and interesting for you guys to take in. That’s why, this week, I prompted you on Instagram to send me questions that you would love to ask someone in a LTR (whether you’re in one yourself or not). I’ve gotten a bunch of responses that I am working on organizing, but the #1 wish-I-could-ask submitted by my audience was “How much sex are you having?” It didn’t surprise me, but it also sort of made me sad in a way. We put such an emphasis on sex as a culture that it makes others question themselves and their sex lives often and get in their own head about it a little too much. It’s also insanely personal in terms of how people handle it, what they like, who they like, and all that jazz. Some people group everything under sex, while others subscribe to sex must involve penetration, but that’s thinking small to me. And not thinking inclusively, honestly.

So I took my first poll yesterday and let me just say, I’m well aware of how not thought-out this first poll is. There was no age range, years of relationship, sexual orientation or any sort of specifics asked. I simply inquired how much sex you are having per week as one half of a LTR. That’s it. I’m clearly not an analyst or strategist or sex doctor. This was off the cuff, and I understand that in order for any of this to hold any sort of weight or be reliable, specific parameters probably need to be set. But I didn’t do that. I just asked “HOW MUCH Y’ALL BE FUCKING?” and left it at that.

I gave four options:

Per WEEK? lol
1-2 times
2-3 times
3+

Assuming you guys interpreted the first option as like “try per MONTH,” these results are exactly what I knew they would be but what I suspect you guys may be surprised by. 2,021 people answered (so on brand with the year!), so these percentages are based on that number. Without anymore foreplay, here are the numbers.

43% said 1-2/week

36% said per WEEK? LOL.

14% said 2-3/week

7% said 3+/week

Like I said, this was what I was expecting but maybe it wasn’t for you! I’m not going to dive into the results and analyze them until I have a more fully formed idea of what this entire idea of mine is, but do with these results what you will and leave a comment on this blog post to start a conversation with the community! (I LOVE COMMENTS).